FIVE STAR FATHERS
by Ngozi Osuagwu, MD | June 18th, 2017
Generally, hotels are often rated with stars regarding their level of quality in all aspects. Five-stars indicate that the facility has superseded expectations. Star ratings place a heavy emphasis on customer service, accommodations, amenities, cleanliness, location and price. The guests benefit from many of the amenities provided by the hotel, i.e., swimming pools, gyms, restaurants, attractions, etc. Hotels with poor ratings hardly have opportunities to get customers to stay. Why? Because ratings don’t lie. The five star ratings have a paid price to get such ratings. The price was paid knowing that the business would double in profit in return.
What if Fathers were rated like hotels–would they be rated as Five Star Fathers? If so, they would be rated by the following: emotional presence, gift enhancer, model under pressure, provider and director. Just think for a moment if fathers were rated as such–what would signify the standard and status of that father? These precious jewels are a necessity for every father to obtain to be efficient and effective in the lives of their children.
Emotional Presence says, “I’m not only physically present within the home, but I’m also emotionally tuned into both you and your world.” It is imperative for fathers to slow down and step into his child’s world; take the time to see things from their perspective, feel their pains and gains. It will change the dynamics of everything once a different perspective is gained. I had to challenge myself to listen to how I listen, make improvements where needed and make eye contact with my daughter in doing so. Your listening skills and responses ultimately determine the altitude and efficiency of the conversation. A response with no emotion does nothing—in fact, it could create an emotional disconnection. Trust that children know when you are present physically and not emotionally. How does one achieve this star?
“Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” -Philippians 2:4
A Gift Enhancer is the father’s ability to study and know the dynamics of their child’s gifts and strengths. A good father will have a good understanding of their child’s calling. This understanding constrains his actions or interactions. It helps to know where your child is gifted and going, in order to navigate them into purpose. Every child has a gift. A good father will help his child to identify that gift and enhance it. Proverbs says to, “Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) To “train a child in accordance to his nature,” means that the teacher must consider the idiosyncrasies of that child. In doing so, the teacher can customize the method of training accordingly. How does one achieve this star?
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” -James 1:5
Modeling under pressure is not easily achieved. Every dad cannot be the spokesperson for GQ or EBONY magazine, but some can certainly model under pressure. The greatest thing a child can see from a father is consistency while under adversity or conflict. How does one model or behave under pressure? I have learned that many children learn best by observation or empirical education. It is a perfect world when kids can see you act kindly to the Wife/Mom when all is well. It is no problem for kids to see you laughing and joking when all of the bills are paid up, but it mesmerizes them to see you under pressure and not flinch one bit. You are still able to come home and tell a joke while it feels like the world is sitting heavily upon your shoulders. You are still able to smile, give words of encouragement even in the midst of the pressures and vices working against you. When this is achieved, you have just upgraded to modeling under pressure. We all know that pressure creates diamonds—how awesome is it for your children to see you shine even brighter after surviving the pressures of life? How does one achieve this star?
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18
Provider, a father must always provide—that should be a given. This provision starts in the mind first before it goes into the material world. His first provision should be a safe environment that is conducive for personal development. People grow out of safety. The cells in our body cannot reproduce if they are always in flight or fight mode. A good father would lead his family beside the still waters and into the green pastures. He will not only provide, but he will also teach them how to fish as well, metaphorically speaking. How does one achieve this star? WORK!!!
“Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” – 1 Timothy 5:8
Director. A father should wisely direct his children to honor their mother. When I come home and I see that my daughters are anxiously waiting on daddy to hug them, I purposely hug Mom first. Why? Because they need to be directed in knowing that the Mom/Wife is the most important person in the house to the Father. Anything or anyone that violates this order, is out of order. It was hard for me to do this initially, but I felt it was necessary to establish order. I knew I had to direct my affection to my Wife, because only then can they see that the Mom/Wife is esteemed highly in daddy’s eyes. How does one achieve this star?
“and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’” – Matthew 19:5
What if father’s thought like hotel owners and provided the highest accommodations to their children? It would bring back the benefits that supersedes the investments to achieve and maintain that five-star rating.
Franklin J. Culver
Pastor, Evangelist Franklin J. Culver’s ministry spans more than twenty-three years and is synonymous with spiritual fervor, strong supplications, and evangelism. Pastor Culver attended the Jackson State University, in the state of Mississippi. He earned his B.A. in Criminal Justice. He also attended Mason Bible Institute. He is currently the pastor of Resurrection Power Church of God in Christ which he started in 1996. Pastor Culver resides in Pickerington, Ohio, with his lovely wife, Evangelist Regena Culver and their two daughters.
